Why it is hard for me to forget...

I often associate events with people. I always preserve memories of events, places and among those, the people I was with. For me, being with someone-family, friends and loved ones gives me the feeling that I am not alone... and that doing things or going places are more enjoyable.

I always take pictures, sing songs and always reminisce these happy moments. But problems arise when my connections to these people get severed.

It may be easy for me to forgive... but never easy to forget. I always feel bitter reminiscing even the happiest of the moments that I used to spend with them. Sad songs double or even triple their intensity when I listen to them. Maybe it is not good to associate people with memories. Once you become indifferent to that person, all the memories associated to him or her get spoiled as well. That what makes me feel depressed-more depressed than ending the association itself.

From now on I will try to be alone. Give myself time to appreciate myself and to create new memories to replace the old ones.

Letting go

I found a nice piece of writing which is very relevant to what I currently feel.

Let Go and Let God

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring,
it just means you can't do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut yourself off from those you love,
it's the realization that you don't control them.

To let go is to admit being powerless,
which means the outcome is not in your hands.

To let go is not to try and change or blame another,
You can only change yourself.

To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow the other to make their own outcomes.

To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.

To let go is not to nag or argue,
but to search out your own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to criticize and boss anyone around,
but to try to become what you dream you can be.

To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more.

To let go… is to let God.

Car Wash

Kanina, first time ko magpa-carwash. Dalawang linggo na ang sasakyan ko at ngayon ko lang naipalinis. Ang plano ko sana ako mismo ang maglilinis. Bumili na nga ako kanina ng car shampoo at ng brush. Pero nang lumabas ako para linisin ang sasakyan, ikinabit ko ang hose ng tubig sa tubo pero ayaw lumabas ng tubig. Siguro may kailangan pang pihitin na gripo para lumabas ang tubig pero hindi ko naman alam kung nasaan. Bale dinala ko na lang ang sasakyan sa gasoline station.



Nakapila kami doon at napansin ko na may machine para hulugan ng pera. Nabasa ko rin sa mga nakapaskil na iba iba pala ang options sa pagpapalinis ng sasakyan. May car shampoo, may car wax, at kung anu-ano pa. Puwede pa nga ipalinis ang ilalim. Ang kinuha ko ay yung kasunod ng car wax. Nakalimutan ko kung ano ang tawag pero mas upgraded yun kaysa sa car wax. 700 yen. Ipapalinis ko rin sana ang ilalim kaso wala na akong additional 300 yen na coins. May 5,000 yen bill ako pero 1,000 yen bill lang ang tinatanggap ng machine. Pinanood ko kung ano ang ginagawa ng kotse sa unahan ko at gagayahin ko na lang.



Nung sasakyan ko na ang lilinisin, may voice instructions naman pala kaya madali lang. Ipapasok mo lang ang sasakyan sa machine na pang-car wash at papatayin ang engine. Wala pang 5 minutes, malinis at makintab na ulit ang Nissan Moco ko.



Pagkatapos, pinalagyan ko na rin ng gasolina ang sasakyan. 3 bars pa naman pero mas gusto ko na laging may gas para hindi ako maubusan habang nasa daan. First time ko rin magpa-gas ngayon sa self service. Noong isang linggo kasi may staff na naglagay ng gas. Madali lang naman din ang instructions. Una, hahawak ka dun sa isang parang rubber sheet para mawala ang static electricity sa kamay mo. Tapos, ilalagay mo ang pera sa machine. Papipiliin ka kung Hi-Oct (octane?) o regular ang ipalalagay mo at kung full tank ba o ikaw ang magsasabi ng amount. Pinili ko na regular at full tank. Tapos, bubuksan mo na ang tank at ilalagay ang nozzle. Pipisain mo ang nozzle at lalagyan na ng gasoline. Pag full tank na, parang tatadyak yung nozzle na ang ibig sabihn ay ihinto mo na ang pagpisa. Ayan, full tank na ulit. Sana konti lang mabawas this week.